


Magnetising

by gennsis



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-03 02:36:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13331709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gennsis/pseuds/gennsis
Summary: Becoming a zookeeper and a gardener has never been a part of her plans. Even so, she pursues their compass anyway, hoping that she can carve her way out of her own maze. Eventually. [OC-centric]





	1. Starting Point

**Chapter 1: Starting Point**

* * *

_"Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you. -Oprah Winfrey"_

* * *

It's a normal day. Actually, to correct my previous statement, it  _was_  before a certain person came barging into it.

As I'm leaving the classroom, a suspicious figure is standing in the doorway, lurking around like a stalker ready to pounce on an unfortunate person. If I recall correctly, this same scene seems to have happened a month ago before. At that time, the unfortunate person was my classmate who hadn't been in a club for a month.

I shudder. Today marks the 30th day I'm 'clubless'.

I immediately crabwalk to the backdoor discreetly. As if knowing what I'm thinking, the person catches up to me, his curtained hair swishing against the air in its brown glory.

He's Itagaki Ryochi, the captain of the cheer team and a third year. According to gossip (arguably the most unreliable source of information ever), Itagaki sources for all the people who are not members of a club so that he can recruit them as members for the cheer team, also coined as the 'Going Home Club'. He uses his incredibly slick tongue and questionable research platforms to his advantage. Often than not, people who fall prey to his poaching cannot escape unscathed.

(Actually, the last sentence is just me exaggerating things. There's no spice in life without a little exaggeration after all, right?)

"Oho! Higashi Harue, is it? I've heard that you haven't been in a club for a month. I understand you, honestly. Clubs are troublesome and they take up too much time. The cheer team is now a solution to your problem!"

Itagaki Ryochi flashes a megawatt smile.  _Cunning._  Then, he embarks on a speech littered with rhetorical appeals and persuasive techniques, explaining to me the wondrous benefits of joining the cheer team.

I patiently listen to him. Then, I start zoning out.

"So right now, you're telling me that I have to go to some random sport matches and spend my precious free time cheering for random people?" I exclaim after the captain's long speech had ended, partially due to impatience and dismay. He remains unfazed.

" _Precious_  free time? Higashi, you've not been a member of a club for a month. Surely you aren't as busy as you claim to be," the captain chirps.

"But well, I have things to do," I insist.

To be frank, it's not like I'm all that busy. I just don't want to go. It's not like I have anything against the cheer team. I have immense admiration for the members, because it takes dedication for them to spend hours of their time perfecting cheers when they can actually use that time for more productive purposes, such as… watching dramas. (Okay, that doesn't sound convincing, but c'mon. Dramas can be pretty inspiring, and maybe they can change my life someday.) Nonetheless, it doesn't change the fact that the cheer team isn't the club for me.

You see, I had joined the choir club, the art club and the astronomy club before, but I quitted them all in a span of a few months. It isn't as if I can't stand being in those clubs, but I just don't feel anything for them. No passion, no attachment, no nothing. Both in the activity and the people. I doubt it's gonna be any different for the cheer team, because I certainly don't want to be stuck screaming my lungs out for a few hours a week.

Some people tell me I can just stick to one random club for the rest of my school life for simplicity's sake, but that just sounds like I'm wasting my time away. If I'm going to find my passion, I'm going to find it now so that I won't stumble around the workforce like some lost duck. That's why I want to take my time searching for my fated club, as dramatic as that sounds.

See? My reasons are perfectly justified. All I have to do now is to explain them clearly to this sly cheer captain-

The cheer captain's continues smiling. There's a sharp glint in his eyes.

"Like what?" he questions, staring at me like a lion does to a sheep.

My resolve crumbles.

"Like uh… Studying?"

_Wait- No! That's not what I wanted to say!_

I almost want to facepalm myself. That's the worst kind of excuse I can come up with! Why can't I just regurgitate what I said in my head?

"N-No, I mean…" I hesitate.

Of course, the lion never hesitates to attack when presented the opportunity. Itagaki's intimidating expression dissolves into a puppy-eye look, and his face wrinkles from lines of stress.

"I have studies too, Higashi. I'm going into my finals, yet here am I still recruiting new members. Do you know why?"

"Er, why?" I ask. I almost want to facepalm myself for the second time.

_This is obviously a trap, you idiot! You're supposed to divert the topic away!_

As expected, my mouth doesn't listen.

Widely grinning once again, the cheer captain executes his last trick, "That's because I want to fully support my fellow Seijo friends to the best of my ability. That's why I'm making so many sacrifices. Cheering is a noble job, you see. It just upsets me that juniors like you are unable to see the significance that cheering provides to the players…" When he finishes, he heaves a dramatic sigh, as if he's disappointed in my very existence.

Guilt eats at me like vicious woodworm. In this world there are many sacrifices for the greater good, and the cheer team is actually a pretty huge squad consisting of fifty members. When there are so many people willingly taking time out to showcase their support for the sports teams, how can I say no to such a request? Plus, it's true the seniors have their studies to attend to too…

_No no- Wait a second!_

I shake my head. Once. Twice. Despite that, the sympathy I have for the cheer captain doesn't stop.

Why does this  _always_  happen to me?

As I look up at the captain's devious smirk, my eyes widen in realisation. This has been his plan all along…! I had merely fallen into his trap, just like he expected!

I clutch my fists together, shutting my eyes together in reluctant compliance.

_I mean, it's true I'm free, and I do want to support the sports teams anyway… A few hours screaming won't hurt, right? It's all for a good cause, Higashi Harue. Be a nice person, and karma won't bite you. I guess._

Breathing in and out, my monologue somehow manages to help me acclimatise to my new predicament. The perks of brainwashing.

"…Fine," I whisper begrudgingly.

Itagaki glitters, his lips morphing into a triumphant smirk that I oh-so-wish to wipe off his stupid face.

"Great, Higashi-chan! Well then, see you at training tomorrow!" he chortles. And then he darts off like a bullet train. I note how he has pretty much locked our relationship into 'close senior-junior' status with his new addition of the suffix '-chan'.

I groan. Cheering is going to be my new favourite pastime.

(That's sarcasm by the way.)

Besides that, there's another conclusion I've reached: The freedom to reject is a gift only for the privileged, i.e. the smooth talkers and the thick-skinned.

(In other words, I'm an idiot for not standing up for myself. An absolute idiot.)

* * *

Being a member of a cheer team is no easy feat unlike what most people may think. For reasons unknown to me, the cheer team has training twice a week even though I see no need in practicing the same repetitive cheer for so many times. Why is the cheer team even established as a proper co-curricular activity anyway?

Other than that, Itagaki is always on me. He keeps yelling at me to scream louder and always forces me into the limelight in group discussions. He knows I care less about creating cheers. Why does he even bother? I haven't even offended him compared to the other junior he keeps arguing with, yet he seems to pick on me more than he does to that junior.

_Is it because I'm a pushover?_

… _That must be the reason!_

Since I'm a wimp and can't retaliate him, at least not verbally, I turn to my new friend, Minami Fumino, to complain about this new predicament I am stuck in.

"It's like I met a thorny path and wanted to evade death by jumping over it, but then I ended up jumping into a river and drowning instead," I lament.

"You're exaggerating, Higashi!" Minami says.

Exaggeration is my only mechanism to cope with this.

Despite all that drama, I admit that the cheer team isn't as bad as I thought it would be. The cheers are catchy, for instance. 'Go go go go, Seijo' and 'Push it, push it, push it, push it Seijo' are truly earworms—so much that I even start chanting them while showering (which earns me strange looks from my parents). However, the third cheer is  _horrible_. It's where the cheer captain would go 'OHHHHH Seijo' like some dying goose. According to my seniors, the cheer captain insisted on shoehorning that cheer in because he thought he sounded incredibly cool (to which I responded with a grimace).

Fortunately, I have also made a few friends. We bond over the common agreement that Itagaki Ryochi is a nutcase.

Still, it's not that  _one_  club I'm looking for, because well, I still very much have no interest in cheering. I guess I wouldn't mind sticking with it until I find a hobby that resonates in me, though.

The first match I'm going to is the Inter High. Many of Seijo's sports teams are attending, so the cheer team is divided into a few sectors. I'm under the 'male volleyball team' sector.

I know the basics of volleyball from physical education classes, which include receiving, setting and spiking. From my experience, playing the sport itself is  _painful_. I gained additional bruises on my arms the last time I practiced receiving, and then I vowed to never touch the sport again. Naturally, people who can play this troublesome sport well has my attention. Just imagine the arduous pain they have to go through during training. How can I not respect people like them?

Their play, however, is much better than I expected. Seijo's male volleyball team is—lack of a better word—great. They're a seasoned team for sure, since they rarely make mistakes amateurs would normally make. Serves are delivered with frightening accuracy, and even passes are made with careful consideration. Nonetheless, it doesn't change the fact it's more of an Oikawa show than the rest of the team. It's not that they're weak per say, but they're just unimpressive on their own. At least, this is how I feel when I watch them as a part of the audience.

 _Oikawa Toru._  I have some knowledge of him thanks to gossip. He's one of the most popular guys in Seijo, purely because he's handsome, outgoing and athletic. Everywhere he goes, he's always surrounded by a group of fangirls. Also, his volleyball skills are exceptional. His tosses are dynamic, matching each player's own ability. Watching his jump serve makes me feel like my heart is going to drop.

But truthfully, the team which has caught my eye the most is not Seijo, but Karasuno in the third round.

In contrast with Seijo, a team with belts of experience on their hand, the members of Karasuno's male volleyball team are like untamed crows. Their attacks are both ferocious and vicious, executed with unrelenting fire and determination. As long as the ball is on the court, they would guard the ball using every body part they have with every energy they have remaining. Every time they win a point, they would pump fists against the air, screaming with all their might. When #12 is up, the reserves would put up some bizarre poses to encourage their teammate. The match between Karasuno and Seijo is like fire against water. How is it that their enthusiasm can be so contagious, to the point that they can even affect a student like me who's from the opposing school?

When the final set comes and both teams' points inch closer to a victory every time, my heart hinges against my throat. One part of me is rooting for Seijo, but the other is rooting for Karasuno.

In the end, Karasuno loses. It isn't surprising. Energy can only take one so far, and Seijo is far ahead of them in terms of technique. Yet, when the players clad in black collapse and later leave the gymnasium with downtrodden shadows, my heart sinks along with their spirit.

They… They have something I don't have. Even if it's just a game, they would play with all their might as long as they stand on their court. They would despair when defeated and rejoice when victorious. To them, winning  _matters_.

It's like my entire being has been emptied after the match. Seijo has a match after, but I still sneak out to see Karasuno nonetheless.

In the dark corridor, I watch their fading figures as I contemplate what to say to them. But having never felt much about losing before, I can't even assemble together a proper string of words of encouragement.  _Good job? You did your best? Don't be too sad?_ All of them sound like words that one gives to a loser out of mere charity. But I'm not doing this because I pity them. All I want to do is to keep their flame alight so that they'll keep playing volleyball with all their strength.

Because…

_Because, loving something with all your heart is a fortunate thing, after all._

Ultimately, I decide to settle for these words.

"Karasuno, I am a fan of you all! Never give up and keep fighting on!" I shout. Their footsteps come to a standstill, and they all turn to look at me blankly. I smile.

"T-Thank you for your support!" #1 yells first. Snapping out from their daze, the members promptly repeat after what he said. Their screams resound in the silent corridor with both anguish and determination. I continue smiling. Amidst the grit of their voice, I notice the tears pooling in their eyelids.

_Cry. Cry it all out. To learn how to cry for something you love… That, by itself, is a privilege._

I return back to the gymnasium with a strange bitterness at the tip of my tongue.

* * *

The schools Seijo is up against next are not too bad themselves. Johzenji has a very wacky playing style. It's so unpredictable that I don't even know what to comment on about exactly. It's certainly interesting to watch them play, though. It's ironic how the attitude of their cheer is opposite to that of their playing style.

Just imagine my surprise when I see the whole cheer team Shiratorizawa has. Actually, rather than 'cheer team', it's more accurate to say that the whole school has been summoned for cheering. They even have actual cheerleaders and drums out on the table! Why anyone would ever put in so much effort into cheering is baffling. Nonetheless, their efforts have paid off as they succeed in coming off as both majestic and intimidating, especially when they directly address us opponents directly.

Play-wise, Shiratorizawa is indeed a powerhouse like what I've heard before; seeing #1's spikes up close has really blown me away. It does feel like Shiratorizawa a team all about #1 though, even more than Seijo is about Oikawa. Shiratorizawa pretty much tears their opponents down with brute force, leaving no room for retaliation. They're definitely astounding, but frankly speaking, I prefer watching Seijo's play with Karasuno or Johzenji. Watching one party slaughter the other just… isn't my style.

In the end, Seijo loses. Again, I have to say it isn't surprising. Shiratorizawa's #1 alone is too overwhelming for the team to handle. Still…

After seeing the students from our school crumple, just like how Karasuno's students had, it's kinda heartbreaking.

In every match, there is a winner and a loser. That is the cruel law of the world.

* * *

With this loss, those in the male volleyball sector of the cheer team are free to go home. I should be one of the happiest, but by the time I leave the gymnasium, I'm left feeling empty.

At the same time, I feel like I've seen a new light—hope of feeling the passion that they felt.

When the bus taking the cheer team eventually stops at our school, I break into a sprint towards the direction of the gymnasium.

Before the sun sets, its garish light embraces me. My hazelnut shoulder-length hair is breaking through the wind, my side-swept bangs searing against the resistance of the air. I see the golden-dyed scenery ahead of me with my two brown eyes, the school buildings standing tall and firm amidst the sky. And, for a moment—just for a moment—I feel like I'm flying across the ground-

* * *

_I'll keep running against the wind in pursuit for the thing that keeps my heart beating. Even if I stumble, even if I trip over myself, I'm going to see to the end of my future. E_ _ventually, I'll fly high above the sky, and I'll see them on the other side of the mountain too._


	2. Rising Platform

**Chapter 2: Rising Platform**

* * *

  _"If at first you don't succeed, keep on sucking until you succeed. -Curly Howard"_

* * *

 Soon, the entrance of the gymnasium comes into sight. I dash into the gymnasium. The setting sun bathes the whole interior of the gymnasium in its warm orange glow. I turn on the lights and proceed to the storage room where all the balls are kept.

_What am I doing? Students are prohibited entry into the gymnasium after 4pm, except for those with club activities. I should leave right now-_

Unfortunately, my brain and body still have absolutely no chemistry with each other. Instead of turning back and walking out (and saving myself from trouble), my hand decides to stupidly take a volleyball which is simultaneously the risk of landing myself into hot soup. Brilliant me.

As I stare at the ball in my hands, I'm still questioning why I did what I just did—break into the gymnasium late in the evening when I should have gone home to watch some inspirational videos of some sort. Then, at the back of my head, I recall Karasuno's fight and the way volleyball has lit up their souls.

_Maybe volleyball is the 'one' for me, after all?_

I laugh to myself, shaking my head at this ridiculous thought.

_Impossible. I always thought volleyball was a sport for masochists…_

Nonetheless, it's a glimmer of hope.

I breathe in, throwing the ball high up in the air. Readying myself into a 'receive' position, I stretch my arms out and hit the ball.

…The ball hits my arms, but instead of going up, it flies horizontally across and falls to the ground. Furthermore, my arms hurt like hell after hitting smack with the ball.

"Ow! Is this ball made of iron or something? How do all those volleyball people handle this?" I complain, running to catch the ball. I never knew that a volleyball is supposed to be  _this_  hard. Back then, we practiced playing volleyball using a softball in physical education lessons so that the impact on our arms would be subdued. So why is it that those volleyball people are using this kind of ball?

…Are they really masochists?

I repeat the same action again. This time, the impact causes the ball to fly vertically. When it lands, it hits my head.

"Ow!" I groan for the second time.

Several tries later and I quickly get bored of whatever I was trying to do. I either miss the ball completely or it just doesn't go the way I want it to. In other words, it's a pain. Why would anyone even like this sport?

After my failed receives, I decide to set to the wall instead. I get the hang of setting the ball whenever it bounces back, but the ball smacks my head more often when I don't catch it in the right position. Soon enough, I find the routine repetitive and revert back to practicing receives. Of course, I continue to fail miserably.

By the end of it all, I collapse onto the ground, the lights reflecting the sweat on my face.

"What am I even doing? Just because those guys look cool doesn't mean I can look cool too. Ugh, I'm such an idiot," I mumble to myself.

"What are you doing here?"

I jump at the voice and immediately glance towards the door. Entering the gymnasium is a group of males clad in white shirts with turquoise details (except #7 who had a turquoise shirt with white details instead). They are members of the Seijo male volleyball team…!

_Gah, this is so embarrassing…! They hadn't witnessed all my failed receives, right?_

"Eh? Wait, shouldn't you guys have gone home already?" I blurt out instinctively, face flushing.

"We decided to catch some extra practice," Watari explains. Other than Oikawa, he's the only one I recognise out of the bunch since he's my classmate, which makes this encounter infinite times more embarrassing. Then again, none of them seem as perked up as they were on court. Perhaps the loss against Shiratorizawa is still weighing on their minds.

In an awkward effort to comfort them, I say, "Oh, right. Er, don't beat yourselves up about the loss, okay? You guys did great…"

_Seriously, what do you say to comfort someone? What do you say? I've never needed to be comforted before, so I don't know!_

"Yeah… Thanks. So what are you doing here, Higashi?" Watari asks. After I get over my nerves, I realise that these volleyball dudes are incredibly tall upon closer inspection. They're at least a head taller than I am! It feels like I'm straining my neck just to look up at them.

"Eh, you know her Watacchi?" Oikawa asks.

"She's a classmate. We're not exactly close though," he explains.

I rack my brains hoping to find the perfect excuse to my (forbidden) presence in the gymnasium.

"Uh… I was looking for something," I say. Lame excuse, but well better than nothing.

"There were sounds of volleyball hitting the ground though-" #2 bluntly states before his mouth is abruptly covered up by Oikawa.

"Mattsun! You shouldn't have such little tact," Oikawa hushes #2 whose name is apparently Mattsun (I can't tell for sure; Oikawa seems to give nicknames for everyone) before turning to me with a brilliantly dazzling smile.

"It's okay; we won't judge! You're here because you're a fan of me, aren't you?"

I blink. Twice, out of utter disbelief. Is narcissism a side effect of being popular? How else can he reach such a conclusion just because I'm in the gymnasium?

The guy beside him hits him. His number is #4, because I'm hopeless in differentiating the guys without those numbers.

"Stop being such a narcissist, Trashykawa!"

Well, dude there has stolen my line.

"Hehe, don't be jealous because you have no girls coming for you, Iwa-chan~" Oikawa chirps. He gets hit again, but I have to say he totally deserves that. How can you dis someone about their lack of romantic life like that? Like yeah, I understand high school students see experience in romance as some noble affair that is to be worshipped, but it shouldn't matter even if they don't have any. I am deeply offended as a single person (who also has no guys coming after me).

Not to mention, he's totally wrong about me being a fangirl. That's two mistakes in a row. Oikawa already isn't giving me a favourable impression.

(Although he'll never beat Itagaki when competing for the Worst First Impression award.)

"Not everything in the world revolves around your stupid ass, Trashykawa!" #4 (Iwa-chan? No way I'm calling him by that) shouts back. I cheer for him in my head.

_You tell him, #4!_

Since 'fangirl coming to see Oikawa-senpai' sounds more embarrassing than 'novice wanting to try out volleyball for mere interest', I decide to be truthful with my reason for coming.

"No, I didn't come because of that. It's just… Well, I watched your matches, and um, I was inspired, I guess. I just wanted to see if volleyball would be fun," I admit.

That actually sounds like pretty nice flattery. I never knew I had the boot-licking side in me going on.

Hearing my clarification, all the volleyball players practically glitter triumphantly. You may think I'm exaggerating again, but I'm serious! Everyone looks like their egos have been inflated to a max with how there are silly grins plastered all over their faces. It's giving me the creeps actually.

Finally, a voice cuts through the silence.

"I'm an inspiration to a girl…" #5 dramatically reiterates to himself as if that's the most shocking thing in the world. Everyone else sans #13 and Oikawa nod along, their tears flying across the air, defying the act of gravity. The only exception is #13 who's shaking his head just like I am and #4 who's attempting to salvage the situation. Oikawa, on the other hand, is guffawing at everyone. Jerk.

"Yahaba-san, a girl finally finds me cool… She didn't call me lanky!" #12 cries along.

I gawk at all of them.

"You all make it seem like World War 3 has happened… Calm down…" I try to use a pacifying tone to no avail.

Is this a side effect of being in an all-boys team? They look like how they've been deprived of the female presence for centuries!

Anyway, Oikawa and #4 manage to sooth the broken boys' hearts after a while. I suspect a combination of stress and despair from their recent loss has resulted in this display (plus majority of the guys have never been encouraged by the opposite gender before- poor them). All I can do is fidget as I'm watching them perform their magical uplifting speeches. It's amazing, really. I may not like Oikawa right off the bat, but he is no doubt a capable leader (like that stupid Itagaki). Maybe it's a thing for leader-like figures to be jerks.

…I feel greatly out-of-place though. I mean, I've never really felt such overwhelming feelings over a game, so I don't know how else to help pacify them.

After that, the volleyball players introduce themselves to me and I can finally stop referring to them by numbers in my head. Likewise, I officially introduce myself to them. This also means we've become acquaintances from strangers. I really don't know how to feel about that.

"Higashi-chan, is it? It's great you have an interest in volleyball! How about I teach you some things about volleyball?" Yahaba proposes.

"Showoff…" Kindaichi mumbles. I have to agree with him.

"I'm not that interested in volleyball though-" I want to refute since only I know just how much I suck at volleyball and I don't want to humiliate myself in front of experts. Unfortunately, Yahaba is as stubborn as a bull. Before I can say anything else, he is already setting up the volleyball net and waving me over. I would be an ass if I still refuse any longer.

_Why, oh why did I have to inflate their egos and get myself into such trouble?_

"C'mon, Higa-chan!"

Even Oikawa joins in the party. The rest of the volleyball members send me nods. How can I say no now? I never had the freedom of rejection to begin with, anyway.

And so, I'm dragged into evening volleyball practice with a group of new friends.

This is gonna be  _fun_.

* * *

 

"So, you know the basics right?" Yahaba asks. Everyone else is now on own time own target and has already dispersed to do their individual practice, leaving Yahaba behind to coach me. Thankfully. At least if I'm gonna humiliate myself, not everyone is present to witness it.

"I guess."

At the corner of my eye, I spot Oikawa tossing to Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi strikes the ball with such penetrating force that I feel sad for my pitiful receives earlier on.

"You don't really have to do this, honestly. I'll feel bad taking up your practice time-" I attempt to dissuade him from his enthusiasm, but when he flashes me a blinding smile, I swallow the words building up my throat.

"Nah, it's fine. I'm a reserve setter," he states. I blink.

"Um…"

As if sensing my discomfort, he chuckles.

"You don't have to look at me like that, you know? I don't mind as long as we as a team can win. Oikawa-san is a strong setter, and he can definitely do that."

…Huh? Is this how Karasuno's #2 felt when he replaced #9 as a setter during the match?

Being a reserve means not being able to play in official matches, only acting as a substitute for a regular if any mishap happens to that person. How can these reserves actually bear that? If I was used as a mere replacement for someone, I would be hopping mad and would've rage quitted in a minute.

How can they… still play with all their might?

"Catch."

I raise an eyebrow, snapping out from my thoughts. Yahaba throws the ball right to me, and I fumble with the ball before managing to secure my grip on it. Gah, my ball handling skills are as terrible as my manhandling skills.

"We'll practice your setting first. Set the ball over to me."

He squats, preparing to leap to the air. I raise my hands up high, tossing the ball to the spot which I envision him to aim at. However, I end up underestimating the height at which he jumps at and channeling too little power into the toss, so the ball ends up soaring in a low arc… slamming into Yahaba's face.

"Oomf!"

I pale, immediately rushing to the now motionless setter while frantically asking if he's okay. The other volleyball players cast several glances over. Oikawa erupts into fits of laughter like a volcano.

"Yahaba, do you need first aid?" he cheekily asks.

"Nice one, Higashi," Watari comments teasingly. My forehead wrinkles. It's  _not_  nice at all! Now, everyone practically knows that my volleyball skills are horrible enough to threaten the safety of a player!

"It's like how the chibi in Karasuno's serve hit Kageyama's head!" Kindaichi chips in.

"That happened? Ugh, I should've seen that!" Oikawa whines, echoing my exact sentiments. I may even be laughing if I'm not the one stuck in that situation myself.

I apologise profusely to the victim of my setting, bowing my head hundred times over while refusing to look at his eyes. Thankfully, there are no bruises on his face. If not, I'll definitely be known as the 'girl who assaulted a volleyball player with her tossing'.

Yahaba straightens up, laughing along with his teammates. A serene smile crosses his face.

"It's okay, Higashi-chan! It happens. Next time, you should consider the height of the spiker and the approximate position comfortable for the spiker," he advises.

…Why is he so calm for a guy who just got hit on the head?

_Wait, what if his senses got hit away?!_

"My throwing skills aren't that accurate…" I try to weasel my way out, hoping to convince them that me + volleyball = disaster. Unfortunately, Yahaba's creepy grin is still hanging on his face.

"Well, it takes practice. Now, why don't we get Kindaichi to be the spiker? You won't reject me and Higashi-chan, will you Kindaichi~?" he suggests with a velvety voice as sweet as honey. A sinister foreboding envelopes me. Kindaichi shivers.

I groan.

Today is going to be a long day.

* * *

 

Calm Yahaba is actually scarier than Angry Yahaba, is what I concluded. After that accident, he keeps dragging his juniors and Watari into spiking while leaving the setting job to me. All of them look like they're worried for their heads. Of course, he doesn't go easy on me either. He corrects my stance every few minutes and gives me all sorts of killer drills if my toss is off. By the end of the training, I'm sure if I hadn't hated volleyball already, Yahaba's training would've made me hate it to the core.

I collapse onto the ground again, rubbing my nose upon taking in the stench of sweat in the air. My heart is palpitating against my ribcage, and my muscles are all sore from handling the ball.

"Yahaba-kun is a demon…!" I gasp, voicing my real thoughts for once. Both the mental and physical labour of volleyball has caused the filter of my mouth to malfunction.

"Guess Yahaba has you whipped, Higashi," Watari says.

"Whipped? You make it sound so serious, Watari! I was barely firm!" Yahaba protests with a pout. Yeah, whatever. He's a bigger jerk than Itagaki Ryochi.

I climb up, my legs slightly wobbling from all the squats I had to do.

"…Guess what? I'm done with volleyball. It's nice to meet you all. Goodbye," I say, about to leave when Yahaba gives me that terrifying you-owe-me-a-favour look, coupled with a death glare and eerie smile. My footsteps stop out of my own will.

… _Why did I hit Yahaba on the face, out of all people? Stupid, stupid hands!_

At the same time, I'm kinda glad I hit Yahaba on the face. He deserves it after all the suffering he has put me through.

"All right, Higa-chan! To celebrate your new entry into the volleyball team, why don't we get some popsicles?" Oikawa suggests. Huh? When was I a part of their gang?

I scowl at Oikawa's goofy grin, betting that he's secretly taking pleasure in my misery.

"That sounds great, Oikawa-san!" Yahaba chortles.

Both of them exchange eye contact, sharing the same devious glint in their eyes. Like senior like junior.

Now, I really can't escape from the volleyball curse. Heaps of regrets become piling in. I should've never gone into the gymnasium to begin with.

Conclusion: Setters are hella scary. So are flying balls.

* * *

 

It's terribly awkward being stuck with a group of boys. They're all exchanging inside jokes I have no clue about and it's pretty evident that they have an intangible bond which I don't quite understand. To use an analogy, I'm like a deliveryman knocking at a door of a house when the owners are having a party with their friends.

Now, the question is: Why am I still here?

Well, I would've tried to make an escape if it isn't for Yahaba keeping me hostage with his eagle-like eyes.

Out of politeness, Matsukawa asks me, "So Higashi, why did you come to see our volleyball match if you're not Oikawa's fan?"

I grimace. Do people only come to watch volleyball if they're Oikawa's fans? No wonder the dude thinks every girl is in love with him or something!

"I'm a member of the cheer team," I explain.

"Isn't that a club for the clubless?" Kunimi bluntly asks.

I nod, laughing awkwardly. See? The cheer team is just  _so_  notorious for being a Going Home club.

"Yep. Since I was clubless, I was forced to join, courtesy to Itagaki-san," I continue to explain, layering my words with bitterness.

"Oh, Ita-chan is a really great captain right?" Oikawa asks. Huh? I wasn't aware Oikawa and Itagaki are friends. Birds flock in the same feather.

Also, 'great captain'? Yeah, he's definitely a master in the arts of guilt-tripping.

I smile impassively, shrugging. No way am I gonna lie through my face.

"No offense, but I think being in the cheer team is boring even if I appreciate them and all. Why cheer when you can play?" Hanamaki comments. Nodding vigorously at his comment, I decide that he's my second favourite volleyball club member after Iwaizumi.  _So_  on point! I'm at the verge of bringing out the eloquent speech Itagaki has crafted about how noble the job of cheering is just so that we both can laugh about the plotholes of his speech together (which I didn't do so when I first met him, sadly).

Then, Oikawa interrupts me, "Yeah, Makki is right. So, why don't you become our manager, Higa-chan?"

Hearing his request, I bulge my eyes in dramatic fashion while scrutinising him carefully.

...Wait, what? Is Oikawa actually poaching me now? I thought he and Itagaki were friends!

Guess friendship means nothing in front of competition.

"Uh, what does a manager do?" I ask.

Oikawa brightens up, before proceeding to list the duties of a manager.

"Many things! Not only can you watch our volleyball matches, but you can collect data of other teams, devise strategies and of course provide us moral support. It's totally okay even if you can't play volleyball at all!" he throws in the last comment as a not-so-subtle jibe. In a fit of rage, I jab him in the stomach.

"Ow! Higa-chan!"

Ignoring his cries of pain, I beam kindly at him.

"As a noob of volleyball, I don't think I can provide strategies useful enough to help the Seijoh volleyball team. Also, I'm terrible at giving any sort of encouragement whatsoever. So, I have to politely decline," I say, pride filling me when the words flow out of my mouth in a movement as smooth as river. Wow! For once, I've managed to reject someone in a clever manner!

(Although that's totally because Oikawa provoked me.)

Oikawa looks down at me with a confronting stare. He smirks.

"But, we're your inspiration, aren't we? It's a pity if your volleyball journey just stops here!" he claims. I have no idea what he's planning behind that scheming face of his, but somehow, I have a very bad feeling-

"It's okay, Higa-chan! I teach my nephew and other kids volleyball during my free time. You can join them too. In the meantime, you can familiarise yourself with the wonders of volleyball. In no time, you'll be a pro at volleyball under my teaching!"

"Ehh?!" I gasp, momentarily lost for words.

 _Kid…?_  So now, my skill is on par with the skill of a kid? I feel insulted (even though it's the truth).

"Don't steal my limelight, Oikawa-san! I was Higashi-chan's original mentor!" Yahaba complains. I'm registering none of his words, though. All I can do is continue to gape at the sly volleyball captain in disbelief.

"The mentor who got hit in the head," Oikawa brightly adds, causing Yahaba to redden.

Unable to assemble a proper string of words, I just stare stupidly at Oikawa with my mouth agape, the word 'kids' replaying in my head like a mantra.

Taking this as a cue, Oikawa says, "Since you're not saying anything, I assume you've accepted my invitation!"

"Stop flirting with girls already, Trashykawa!" Iwaizumi hollers, slamming Oikawa's back. I would have shot Iwaizumi an appreciative glance if it's not for the fact that I'm  _still_  as stunned as a vegetable.

_So, I'm only as good as a kid is at volleyball…_

_No_  way am I taking this lying down!

My brown orbs face Oikawa's with steadfast determination.

"Okay," I say, grit underlying in that single word.

_You better watch out, Oinkawa. I'm gonna aim the ball at your head next time for comparing me with a kid!_

* * *

  _There concludes my fateful day filled with lots and lots of volleyball. I've earned myself a new idol, new friends (maybe) and two new intimidating mentors._

_Is volleyball going to be the 'one' for me? Frankly speaking, I don't think so. When I play volleyball, I pose as a safety hazard to myself and others. Me + volleyball = disaster. But still, it's going to be the closest to a hobby that I can get, I guess._

_…Besides, if someone offends me (i.e. Yahaba, Oikawa and Itagaki), I can just toss a ball at their heads and pretend that that's because I suck at volleyball. Perks of being a volleyball sucker._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't intend for the chapter to have so much crack, but it turned out this way. It'll get serious at some point, I promise! Itagaki: 1. Oikawa: 1. Yahaba: 1. Higashi: 0. Is Higashi ever gonna win someday? Lol, we'll see. xP Also, I think 90% of Haikyu! is about people getting hit HAHA.


	3. Compass

**Chapter 3: Compass**

* * *

_"You are a light that will always guide me, a whisper I'll always strain to hear. -Lora Leigh"_

* * *

After the Inter High, I'm back to my normal life… sort of. Before we parted, I actually exchanged numbers with Oikawa so that he could notify me when our training would commence. This also means that I get spammed with random texts full of emoticons every day, but no trouble I can't deal with. Seenzoning does the trick well.

However, what I didn't expect is the boy standing next to my table when the bell rings.

"Yes, Watari-kun?" I ask politely. The boy smiles at me.

"The volleyball team is hoping you can attend our practice," he says placidly like that's supposed to be a normal thing. I try my best to maintain my polite smile, though it's faltering ever so slightly.

_I'm getting the creeps…_

"Er, why?" I ask patiently despite the impatient thumping of my heart. The sun is setting, and it's time for me to go home. No way am I getting myself caught up in whatever business the volleyball team is having.

…Or at least, I hope I won't.

"Yahaba is being an idiot," he states. The curt and short reason throws me off-guard for a moment, but then I nod slowly in understanding.

…Well, that certainly explains  _everything_. I would've never guessed Yahaba is the type to hold grudges if I didn't hit him with the ball.

_Guess I should try not to offend him as much as possible._

"Do I even have a say in this?" I ask.

"You can say no, Higashi. But really, you don't have to be embarrassed. It's totally normal for a beginner to miss occasionally." Watari's lips quirk up as he says so. Warmth creeps into my cheeks.

_That enigmatic smile on his face… He's totally laughing at me! I can't even correct him because everything he said is correct..._

_Ugh, volleyball players are annoying._

Just as I'm about to say no, something else entirely is pulling at my heartstrings. I hesitate. I see Karasuno's soaring shadows and Seijo's ones that follow suit. They're no longer in the same court, but in their individual ones, all fighting an internal battle with themselves before they can stand on the battlefield. The training that goes into every flashy spike and every solid receive—how is it like? How do they take a step further every time, honing their skill to perfection? And how do they cope when they can't figure things out?

It's a struggle that I fail to comprehend even though I know it exists in every activity. The act of practicing, the act of failing and the act of succeeding—they impact everyone in a way or another emotionally. But to me, none of that matters. I'm just like an empty shell ready to be filled.

Would attending a volleyball practice enlighten me? Most likely not. It's just training, anyway.

But still, it doesn't hurt me to try.

"…Okay."

And so, I agree out of my own volition this time.

* * *

As we're walking in the corridors, silence descends. It's awkward. I tried to dissolve the awkwardness by initiating a few topics, but well, it's still awkward. Just imagine crows flying across the air and crow sounds echoing in the silence. Yes, it's  _that_  awkward.

I was never really close to Watari, though I would say that's the case with most of the guys in my class. It's just the norm for the girls to stick with girls and the guys with guys. Of course, we do mingle around with the opposite gender once in a while, but we aren't like best friends because that is apparently abnormal. If a girl is close to a guy, it's assumed they must be dating. I know—that makes zero sense whatsoever. Still, it's practically an unspoken rule, and I don't try to break it because I don't really care about guys. Or girls, for that matter. Gender doesn't make a difference to me.

In general, high school is a bunch of rules and regulations that make no sense. Nobody tells you what to do, but you know what to do just based on intuition and peer pressure. Don't be nerdy, because that's uncool. Check up the newest trends or you would be out-of-fashion. Yadda yadda yadda. Basically, follow the crowd and you won't get lost.

(That isn't true. I still lost myself anyway.)

My train of thought snaps short when Watari suddenly stops and I nearly bump into his back.

"What's wrong, Watari-kun?" I question. Then, I notice the boy in front of him. He has short-cropped blonde hair and intimidating eyes ready to burn everything in their vision on fire. He honestly can pass off as a delinquent, and maybe he actually is one. Although my brain tells me 'don't judge a book by its cover', I cower behind Watari nonetheless.

"Kyotani, you're skipping practice again?" Watari asks.

_Practice? Huh, so this guy is a volleyball player? Never seen him before though…_

"…"

He doesn't reply Watari. Instead, he continues to stride off. Watari doesn't make a move to stop his retreating figure.

"Anytime you want to come back, I'll always welcome you. And the rest of them too, even if they won't admit it."

The gruff man stops, his shoulders relaxing upon hearing those words. For a moment. After a split second, he regains the sharp look he has and sends Watari a guarded look.

"Tch."

Then, he walks off.

"I don't need explanations," I immediately say when Watari turns to me, smiling at me sheepishly. This smells like teenage drama to me, and frankly speaking, I'm in no mood for angst right now. We start walking again, this time shoulder to shoulder.

"He's a member of the volleyball club. But because of a few conflicts with the third years, he hasn't come to practice ever since," Watari explains anyway, totally ignoring me. I don't know why. Do I look like I'm particularly interested?

"Hm. Basically a rebel?"

Watari nods in affirmation.

"Figures. There seems to be a rebel in every club except the cheer team. We're the club of ex-rebels."

Watari stifles a chuckle.

"Then, why are all of you reformed?"

I was about to say 'because of our lovely captain', but my mouth pauses midway through its action. I think about my answer once more. Many of the cheer team members have been forced to join thanks to Itagaki, including me. But I'm sure if we really wanted to, we could have just skipped out on practices. Why did we all attend, nonetheless…?

In the end, I decide to settle with such an answer.

"There's no reason for us to stay, but there's nothing that gives us a reason to leave either. Practices are just a way for us to pass time," I conclude.

_And, maybe just maybe, we're pinning on one another to save ourselves from sinking into apathy._

"Anyway, conflicts can be resolved with a little more understanding. You just need to talk it out," I idly add on.

_Conflicts are like competitions. There is always a winner and a loser. To win, you have to be the first one to lose._

"It's not so easy. Kyotani is simply too hard to get along with. Even I don't understand him," Watari laments, sighing in resignation.

When the words leave his mouth, it's like my whole world freezes and lands into a standstill. Everything around me vanishes from sight as I recall that one lost forgotten memory-

" _Where are you going after graduating from middle school, Harue?"_

_Kamei Makiko. She was my playmate, and also considered my best friend. Although frankly speaking, I never really did consider her as a close friend. Back then, I was really anti-social and I isolated myself from all the boisterous kids. She was the only one who reached out to me._

_I never liked her despite that. She was the embodiment of everything I detested. She was too noisy, too affectionate and too passionate about everything—basically, she was everything I was not. Whenever she took a step closer to me, I would take a step back. I wanted her to leave me alone._

_I was stupid._

" _I don't know. Aoba Josai, maybe? It's the closest school to my home, and I qualify," I lazily said. To me, all schools are the same. They all have students and teachers. They all have expectations._

" _Really… Why am I not surprised? You really don't have any ambition, do you?" she laughed. Her smile didn't reach her eyes, which was unusual. I scrutinised her face carefully, something which I hadn't done before. Her freckles tainted her pale complexion, and she had bundled her hair up into a tight ponytail. It was the usual._

_But when did she have piercings on her ears?_

" _I'm moving to Tokyo," she suddenly said. And my world stopped._

"… _Huh, so you're leaving?"_

_I should be glad. Separating Tokyo and Miyagi was a few hours flight, which meant she would finally leave me in my own solitude. But my heart sank deeper and deeper, like I had tons to say._

" _You sound like you can't wait to get rid of me, Harue," she chirped._

" _Yes. My dream school is in Tokyo. I want to pursue medical science, and Tokyo has one of the best high schools specialising in that area."_

Huh? When did she like medical science? Wasn't she fixated on accountancy before?

_My eyebrows furrowed as I took note of the changes that happened to her that had escaped out of my notice. It was so easy to take her for granted. She came when I didn't want her, yet she had slowly but steadily edged her way into my life._

_And then, she was going to leave. Just like that. In such a foreign condition._

" _I see," I said through gritted teeth._

"… _Will you miss me?" she asked, her eyes softening._

I don't know. You're my first friend and the first one to leave.

_Stupidly, I didn't say anything. I didn't understand the importance of relationships._

_After a period of silence, she laughed to herself, her lips curling into a self-deprecating smile._

" _I guessed so too. After all, you really don't feel much for people or for anything in general. Seems like until the end, I just can't understand you, Harue."_

Understanding. _It's true that many people couldn't understand me. Just like how I couldn't understand why they could feel so deeply, they couldn't understand why I couldn't feel. Which was why none of them could pull me out from the sea of emptiness I was swimming in._

" _Well, it was fun while it lasted. All the best, Harue."_

_I blinked. She was already waving goodbye to me, her ponytail swishing against the wind._

"… _All the best. Take care, Kamei."_

_After that, I've never seen her again. And when she was gone, that was when the realisation started hitting me. I missed her. How I missed her rambunctious ranting (even though she got worked up over the silliest things). How I missed her laughter. And how I missed the zeal she had when she was doing Mathematics homework._

_Everything I found grating about her, I missed them all. And everything I couldn't understand, I missed them all._

Is it the same for her? I would never know.

But, I do know something else.

If I cherished our friendship more and if I communicated with her more, then maybe I could've salvaged our already breaking friendship. Even if it was just at the last second—If I said something else other than 'take care', maybe she wouldn't have left thinking that I found her a nuisance. But I didn't. I didn't try to understand her when she did.

In a spur of emotions, I speak, "It's easy to say that you don't understand him, but have you ever thought that he doesn't understand you as well? It's all a matter of perspective."

Something flickers through Watari's eyes. I continue.

"It's not possible to understand someone entirely. But you can try. Listen to him. Put yourself in his shoes. Then, he'll eventually open up to you."

_Before it's too late, you have to do that..._

The sign 'First Gymnasium' enters my line of vision. Our footsteps gradually cease as we near the entrance. My throat hitches.

_Nobody understands you, Harue._

Watari widens his eyes, his mouth slowly morphing into a slight smile.

"Hm, I guess you're right. Thanks Higashi."

_And nobody will keep trying._

I nod mutely, guilt seeping into my veins with how Watari thanks me sincerely. There's only one reason why I would say such words.  _This_  is one of the only things that can affect me after all-

_Which is why. In order for people to be happy, I'll have to be the one to try and understand them._

… _As long as this universe remains undisturbed, I'll continue to be the loser. Again and again._

* * *

As soon as we enter, we are greeted by a group of  _extremely_  enthusiastic volleyball players.

"Higashi-chan, you're here!"

"Oho, it's our manager-chan! Have you finally decided to report for your duties, after all?"

"I'm not your manager…" I protest weakly. Oikawa emits a gorilla laugh.

"You'll soon be! In fact, I think you'll become manager. Who doesn't want to see Oikawa-san's amazing serve in live action all the time, right?" he proclaims with a smug grin plastered on his face.

_As expected of the narcissist..._

"Why are you guys even hoping that I would come? I'm just a volleyball noob," I voice out my concern. While Yahaba seems to be the main reason why I'm here, the other volleyball players seem equally eager except for Kunimi who's keeping a poker face as per normal.

In a chorus, they say, "Because we inspired a girl!" I almost facepalm myself out of sheer disbelief.

_Boys being boys…_

Just then, an older male with dirty blond hair marches to us from one of the benches.

"Oi, little girl! Don't distract my players from their practice," he bellows, causing me to jump instinctively. My eyebrows furrow.  _Little girl?_  I eye the man carefully.  _Is he the coach?_

"Mizoguchi-kun, you shouldn't be so uptight," Oikawa chirps, hitting the older male's right shoulder lightly.

"And you shouldn't be so laidback, Oikawa!" the coach(?) scolds Oikawa as he massages his temples, mumbling to himself in a loud voice, "Kids these days…"

My forehead wrinkles. Is it becoming a thing for me to be associated with a kid lately?

Another huge guy follows behind Mizoguchi, slamming a hand on his left shoulder while emitting a hearty laugh.

"Relax, Mizoguchi-kun. Little girl, do you mind if you help us set us some of the courts in the meantime?" he asks.

_Am I really that little…?_

I shrug, though my eyebrows are still twitching in frustration.

"Not at all."

After the setup is done, I proceed to sit on the benches with the coaches. I learn that the burly man's name is Irihata Nobuteru, and he's actually the head coach, while Mizoguchi is more of the assistant coach. Their demeanors would've told me the opposite though.

On one court, I had set up cones on one side so that Oikawa can practice his jump serve. I spot Oikawa preparing to leap into the air and perform his jump serve. The ball comes into contact with his hand and whoozes its way down to one of the cones with alarming accuracy. It blows the cone off immediately, and it's like I watched a hurricane happen, except with volleyball.

"Oikawa-san is… Wow…" I gasp, unable to form a proper sentence.

I may not like the guy himself, but I can't deny that his volleyball is astounding. Not only does he have the power, but he also has the accuracy to direct the ball to a specific direction. How long has he practiced this serve exactly? It must have taken lots of dedication.

Irihata smirks triumphantly to himself.

"That is the skill of our captain."

As Oikawa continues to serve at random cones, Yahaba, Iwaizumi, Kunimi and Matsukawa are practicing on the court beside him. I didn't see Yahaba play in the Inter High, but his sets don't seem half bad. At least his teammates can hit the ball with relative ease. Iwaizumi, Kunimi and Matsukawa take turns in receiving, spiking and blocking. They're all fairly decent in each area, not showing extreme talent in any of them in particular (except for Iwaizumi whose spikes remain as the most powerful I've seen in Seijo). From how they angle themselves to receive a slightly off ball to the way they connect as a team, it's evident just how much experience they have.

The court on the most left side has Hanamaki, Watari and Kindaichi. Hanamaki throws the ball high up, attempting to hit the ball when he jumps, though he ends up hitting the air instead.

"Nice try, Hanamaki-san," Watari encourages him.

_I don't think I've seen him perform a jump serve before… Is he trying to go for one now?_

Only after seeing Hanamaki's pathetic attempts did I realise just how effortless Oikawa and Iwaizumi make theirs seem. The older male persists with the practice with many failures (most of the time, he either jumps too high, jumps too low or doesn't hit the ball over the court). When he finally manages a successful jump serve, Watari receives it, sending the ball back to Hanamaki. Hanamaki sets the ball to Kindaichi who spikes it over the net.

As the practice rolls on, I yawn a little. It started off rather fascinating, but it gets really  _boring_  after some time. The stench of sweat makes the air in the gymnasium unbearably stiff too. How can these guys stand this every day?

"Don't slack off, Kunimi!" Mizoguchi yells over. I flinch at the sound of his voice.

_Plus, you have such a strict coach gawking at you all the time. Isn't this just too intensive?_

I glance towards Irihata who flashes me a smile upon sensing my gaze.

"You're at that age, aren't you?" he asks. I tilt my head questioningly.

"Sorry, I don't quite understand…"

He guffaws, turning his attention back to the boys.

"When I was your age, I didn't know what I was going to do with my life. Volleyball's just one thing I'm interested in, so I kept at it. It became a part of my life ever since high school," he tells me like he's reciting a bedtime story.

And then, he holds my suspicious gaze with an affirming one of his. His eyes are those of a seasoned soldier, filled with wisdom and intelligence.

"The day when you find something you really love, you'll realise that no matter how hard the practice is, you can persevere through anything. One day, you'll know how that feels, little girl."

I listen to him attentively, imagining how that day would turn out to be. The day when I would genuinely smile and cry for anything seems like an elusive dream, yet at the same time, it feels like it can materialise if I just reach out a bit more towards it.

One day… I really do hope I'll find that one day.

"Yes."

* * *

A few days after the Inter Highs, cheer training awaits me to the disappointment of the members of Seijo's volleyball team. Yahaba even dares to ask me if I can just quit and become their manager to repay the debt I owed him (since when?). I just smile as a form of refusal. Being a manager at a male volleyball club just doesn't seem like the dream I'm looking for all along.

As soon as I step into the cheer room, Minami immediately greets me with a booming voice, "Oh god, Higashi! The basketball matches were amazing! Like seriously! The preliminaries were kinda boring, but then when we advanced into the actual Inter High, there's this super badass team from Too Academy in Tokyo. There's this navy-haired dude who whooshed his way like Sonic! He was so fast and agile that I can barely keep track of where he's going! I'm not even kidding! I mean, our basketball team isn't bad you know, but they just trashed us like we are nothing!" After she finishes spouting out a string of incomprehensible words, she pants heavily like she had just run on a marathon. I widen my eyes upon her outburst.

_When did Minami get so worked up? The basketball team of Too Academy must be pretty great…_

I roll my eyes. Nothing can beat what I saw in the volleyball matches, unless it's the Olympics itself I guess. At least, that's what I think so.

"You're exaggerating, Minami," I mimic her tone.

"Don't copy me! And I'm not! If you had seen it, you would be as speechless as I am!" she continues yelling, probably still high in adrenaline. I roll my eyes again.

"You're not speechless right now. You're  _speechmore_." I laugh to myself after that little joke. Minami frowns, remaining unamused.

"…That isn't funny and you know it, Higashi."

I pout at her cold response to my joke.

"It's funny to me. Also, why are you so happy that our team lost against Too Academy?" I question.

Her black orbs shimmer as she says, "Because they're powerful. It's a privilege to lose against the powerful, you know?"

I raise my eyebrows. Who in the right mind would be happy about a predetermined loss? Only someone as crazy as Minami, perhaps.

"Never mind that! How were the volleyball matches? I heard we lost against Shiratorizawa again."

"Yeah, we did. I wonder how it feels to lose against the same team so many times," I note, tapping my chin. Minami stares at me blankly.

"What do you mean how it feels? Of course it sucks. It sucks to be powerless. But what can we do? Like the saying goes, the dumb can't become smart and the untalented can't become talented," she comments thoughtfully.

_What's the point? If you can't do something, then you can't. Is there a need to worry about it?_

"Is there even a saying like that?"

"If I say so."

I roll my eyes. It's just so like Minami to say that.

"You sound like a defeatist," I mention. The Karasuno male volleyball members would never utter such a thing. They would probably foolishly run after the strong, tripping and later standing up in the process.

"I'm just stating facts. Besides, I don't really care about winning," she points out.

"You don't have a dream, do you?" I ask. All I know about Minami is that she was forced to enter the cheer team by Itagaki after she quitted her last co-curricular activity, the Art Club. I have never probed her regarding the details though.

"Nah. I mean, I'm in the Going Home Club for a reason. I bet you don't have any too."

I smile to myself knowingly. If she is asking me the Higashi Harue in middle school, then she would be right. But now-

"I have a dream. That is to find a dream," I state with conviction. With how Minami is side-eyeing me, it's clear she thinks I'm joking.

"…Seriously?"

"I'm serious," I reaffirm, looking at Minami seriously.

"That's why before this whole club, I went around trying all sorts of different clubs. Although I guess I may have taken an interest in volleyball lately after watching the Inter High," I carelessly add on as an afterthought. Minami nods as if she's acknowledging my momentum curiosity towards the sport.

"Yeah, those guys make me wish I can play basketball. But I suck at sports." She sighs in resignation. I cringe, recalling the memories of me hitting Yahaba's head with the ball.

"I know. Ugh, maybe I shouldn't have agreed letting him tutor me…" I mumble to myself, regretting my impulsive decision.

Minami's pupils dilate as her face nears mine, asking curiously, "Who's that?"

"Oikawa Toru," I casually say. She gasps dramatically, pointing a finger at me.

"Wait,  _that_  Oikawa Toru?! And he agreed? Does that mean he likes you?!"

"…Actually, I kinda said I was inspired by the Seijoh volleyball team. So he thought I would be interested in volleyball…" I attempt to elaborate to no avail.

"So you like him back?! Wow! Higashi is dating Oikawa Toru!" Minami makes a bold remark as she giggles to herself.

"If you're trying to exaggerate like me, you're doing it wrong. That's  _not_  exaggeration. That is making up things," I say, unamused. Unfortunately, Minami's words have not escaped the busybody captain's ears. He intervenes himself into our conversation, plastering a tight smile at us.

"Oh, Higashi's close with Oikawa? Hoho, my precious junior with my beloved friend? Be careful though! Oikawa's a ladies' man," he chirps.

" _No, I'm not._  Don't spread false information, please. He is not my type anyway," I force myself to remain my polite manner of speech, though it's increasingly hard to do so every time I see Itagaki's face.

"You don't know, Higashi. In shoujo manga, the girl who initially hates the guy ends up falling in love with him," Minami comments, smiling deviously to herself. Itagaki gags at the mention of shoujo manga.

"Minami, you're such a typical girl," he remarks.

"Captain, you're such a typical boy," she scorns him in return. Itagaki's face turns green, causing me to stifle the fits of laughter that are arising inside me. His expression is  _priceless_. I flash a subtle thumbs up to Minami who's puffing her chest smugly upon seeing his reaction.

Immediately, the captain moves from his embarrassment and switches the focus of attention to me.

"Hmm, if Oikawa isn't, then what's your ideal type, Higashi?" the cheer captain asks, his eyes glinting with mischief.

"...Captain, shouldn't we be practicing cheers now instead of gossiping?"

My eyes dart away, refusing to maintain eye contact with the captain lest he sees my uneasiness.

"Oh c'mon! The Inter Highs are already over. Now all that's left is my impending retirement," he chortles with relative ease. My heart almost stills upon the mention of that word 'retirement'.

_Right… It's the time of that year after all. I'm going to have to say goodbye to them, just like I did to Kamei._

Before I can say anything else, Endo interrupts up with uncanny timing, "Hey, Itagaki! So I heard you like this new girl-" Upon hearing the scandalous words coming from his mouth, Itagaki instantly perks up, covering his mouth desperately.

"Shut up! My reputation can't be tainted in front of my juniors! Let's talk elsewhere!"

As he says so, he drags the poor third year away. Minami and I exchange looks. The silence befalling upon us is both filled with amusement and relief. This time, however, Minami assumes the role of the interrogator.

"…So what's your ideal type, Higashi?" she questions, eyeing me slyly.

Looking around to make sure no one else would intrude us again, I whisper to her, "A guy that is calm and is rational in thinking through things and has his own little bubble that is incomprehensible to others. I think it's romantic if we say things that no one else can understand… How about yours?"

Minami gawks at me like I'm insane, though she recovers her composure as soon as I return her a cool level-headed gaze.

"Eh, that's weird, but very Higashi-like. Well, my ideal type is like the navy-haired guy. Cool, badass and can protect me well. Best if he's macho. Oh no, I think I may have developed a crush on that guy…" she mutters incoherently, blushing furiously. My face flushes when I realise that we're engaging in what girls call 'girly gossip' right now.

"…Well then, that's so Minami-like."

* * *

Later on, our dear cheer captain announces the third years' retirement. The new captain, Murata Takuya, proposes that we should have a one-day outing in Tokyo during the summer vacation with all the third years together. Pretty much everyone agrees. I can't say no even if I want to, especially not with Minami and Murata himself giving me those pressurising glares.

Besides, I don't exactly mind spending more time with the cheer team. I guess.

After the whole club activity, Murata asks for all the second years to gather so that we can plan the outing itself.

"...Minami is going to settle the gifts, and Higashi is going to settle the logistics needed for the outing. Okay?" Murata gives us our own roles once we've finalised the program schedule.

"Um, Murata-kun, I would like to settle the gifts instead," I voice out to the surprise of both myself and my other batchmates.

"…Eh? Okay then. Are you okay with that, Minami?" Murata asks.

"Sure, why not?" Minami says, giving me a wink.

* * *

The sunlight blinds all of us once we step into the streets of Tokyo. Tokyo is unbearably  _huge_. Crowds of people rush by us, some brushing past the members of our big group and others bumping right smack onto us. I feel like a kid from the countryside coming to the city, and judging from the astonished looks of the other members, I can conclude I'm not the only one.

"I-Is that the Tokyo tower?!" one of the first years asks, pointing at a transmission tower.

"No, it's not! Miyagi kids, transmission towers do not equate to the Tokyo tower!" Minami fumes, immediately denying the hasty conclusion the first year has made.

"Aren't you a Miyagi kid as well, Minami?" I ask. Minami smirks at me.

"No. I'm actually a Tokyo kid, but I moved to Miyagi during middle school," Minami boasts. Everyone else's eyes sparkle, and they crowd around Minami like she's a dazzling specimen.

"H-How's Tokyo like?!"

"Why would you come to Miyagi when you're in such a great place like Tokyo, Minami-senpai?!"

I roll my eyes as Minami continues to bask in the attention she's been given by the other juniors, patiently addressing their questions about the wonders of Tokyo one by one.

_Tokyo is fascinating, but it's way too big and crowded… What a hassle._

"Stop snatching the attention, Minami! This is the day for the third years!" Itagaki scolds her. In return, Minami sticks her tongue out at the ex-cheer captain.

_They're also a really big hassle too…_

* * *

"Tokyo food is so good!" Itagaki exclaims once we finish our meal at our first destination, a traditional Japanese restaurant.

_It tastes the same to me, actually._

"Thank you second years for treating us!"

Once all of us have finished our food, I proceed to unveil the contents of the huge plastic bags I've brought alongside me.

"Thank you seniors for everything. Here are your gifts," I awkwardly say, handing them their presents one by one.

"A Gundam figure! You're the best junior ever, Higashi!" Endo exclaims upon seeing the action figure inside the transparent box I've given to him.

_Endo-san is obsessed with action figures, statues and all sorts of collectibles… He positions them as precious exhibits all over his room._

"A dating manual? I-I don't need such a thing, Higashi!" Ikeda pouts once she sees her gift.

_Ikeda-san has dated four times and has been dumped ever since... She thinks that because of that, she doesn't have any affinity with love._

"Heh. You have good taste, Higashi," Kaneko happily chimes as she fiddles with the CD in her hand.

_Kaneko-san works out with rock music in her playlist all day. She's a hardcore rock enthusiast, and would have probably joined a rock band if there's actually one in Seijo._

"S-So cute!" Noguchi shrieks, holding the plush tightly in his embrace.

_Noguchi-san loves anything cute, especially bears. He finds that bears are incredibly squishy, and squishy things are the only purity of this tainted world._

"AAAAH! What the hell is this, Higashi?" Itagaki yells when he opens his present. A worm springs out of the box, catching everyone off-guard. After recovering from his initial shock, he starts sniggering, slamming my shoulder while saying, "That's my junior!"

_Itagaki-san loves pranking people and being pranked. His motto is, "Laughter is the best medicine." Okay, maybe I'm sort of biased against him, but hey, an eye for an eye, right?_

In unison, all the seniors turn to look at me like proud parents. I fidget nervously upon being the center of attention.

"Higashi, you came into this club with the first years, but you've grown so much…! You're like a proper senior now!" Kaneko says in an exaggerated voice.

"Our juniors are so cute…" comments the weeping Noguchi who's already enveloping each of us into a ferocious hug.

Not before long, we are chased out of the restaurant for causing a nuisance to other customers. So much for all the emotions.

But, when I watch the smiling faces of the seniors, I can't help but feel it's worth it all.

_This is the only thing I can do for them before they leave…_

* * *

Our second destination is the Tokyo Skytree. Everyone marvels at the sight of the landmark, while Itagaki is mocking Ikeda's height by comparing her to the Skytree (she's the shortest among the third years).

"So tall! Everything in Tokyo is so tall!" the first years continuously cry out as Minami keeps boasting about how magnificently gigantic Tokyo's skyscrapers are.

I watch on, absolutely isolated from the animated chattering of my other teammates, this time willingly. The group's voices resonate inside my head, covering away all other noises inside me. Their emotions practically radiate from their faces, even though none of them reach me personally.

_They're all excited… They're all happy. And they'll miss one another when the day ends._

A part of me wishes that I'll come to care as much as they do when the day ends too.

* * *

Once the programs come into an end, we bid goodbye to one another with lots of sobbing and proclamations of hanging out again.

Before Itagaki leaves, I catch up to him. The said third year just gives me a knowing glance, like he's already anticipating what I'm going to say.

"Um, Itagaki-san. Honestly speaking, I don't really like you, but I guess… I'll miss you once you're gone. Thanks for being our captain," I attempt to verbalise my thoughts in the most honest and forthright way I can think of. Itagaki just grins at me.

"You've really opened up a lot compared to when you first joined, Higashi," he points out.

"…Really?" I ask in disbelief. Is there any difference in my behaviour then and now? Because I personally don't see any.

"Really really! You were rarely straightforward with your feelings when you first came. You still aren't all that straightforward, but you tend to express yourself more now," he lays out his observations straight. I stare at him stupidly as he pats me on the head, the silly grin on his face suddenly not seeming as deceptive as it did before.

"You'll be a good leader, Higashi," he says. And then, he waves me goodbye. I wave back at him, and in a flash, he's gone like the wind.

_Itagaki… is surprisingly observant._

"So, it's really the end huh…" I mutter to Minami. She nods wistfully. Both of us haven't stayed in the cheer team for that long, but farewells are always hard.

_Just like that time with Kamei…_

"Anyway, I'm going to Nekoma for a while to see my cousin. Just wait for me for a little," Minami says.

"I'll just go home first," I say, though I'm immediately replied with a frown and a sharp intervention from Minami.

"No, you have to accompany me. If not, I'll be so bored in the train ride back to Miyagi," she pleads me with a pair of puppy eyes that render me no room for rejection.

_Is it a thing for girls to accompany each other wherever they go?_

Out of laziness and slight worry, I try to dissuade her from her decision, "Can we even go in? It's a different school ground."

"Don't be such a worrywart. Nobody will find out if we sneak in!" Minami stubbornly insists. With no other excuse, I'm dragged to this high school called Nekoma.

* * *

At the entrance, there's a cat mascot awaiting us along with the bold letters 'Metropolitan Nekoma High School'. The campus seems to be more enormous than Seijo's. While the colour scheme of Seijo's walls is leaning towards light, pastel colours, the walls of Nekoma High are painted with black and varying shades of blue.

"May I ask what's with the weird name that this high school has?" I ask out of curiosity. It's like the school is proclaiming itself a school of cats.

"For your information, the kanji in Nekoma means something different. But it's true that Nekoma's mascot is cats, just like how Aoba Josai is represented as plants," Minami explains. My eyebrows raise in distaste.

"Why cats? They scratch and they're awful. At least for plants, we can say that we're a garden of flourishing flowers or something as fanciful as that."

"Cats are cute, Higashi. Why don't you see their cuteness?" Minami asks, deadpanned.

"I see no cuteness in scratching cats."

"You're just biased!"

I have no comment to that. Like I'm waving off a cat, I shoo her off.

"Go find your cousin and call me when you're done. I'll just walk around. Hurry up by the way. I seriously don't want to get caught."

"Roger! Thanks Higashi!" she brightly says. And then, she is gone.

I wander around Nekoma idly, my white blazer standing out amidst the sea of blue. Thankfully, there aren't many Nekoma students around, and even if there are, they are mostly attending camp, some which are joint camps with other schools. Hence, it's less likely that I would be exposed or chased out by a teacher. I think.

_I seem to be breaking a lot of rules lately…_

Then, a stray thought sneaks its way into my mind.

… _Kamei's also in Tokyo too, isn't she? Maybe I should visit her? But, wouldn't it be kind of awkward? Ugh, maybe I shouldn't after all-_

I don't notice the ball coming at my direction. It slams onto my face with the speed of light, leaving behind a stinging sensation on my cheek. I recoil from the impact.

_It hurts…!_

"Ugh, what crime have I committed against balls?! When I'm around them, they either hit me or some other person!" I lament, face scrunching up as I cast a glare at the perpetrator instinctively.

"Sorry! So sorry! Are you okay?" the perpetrator asks, concerned. My rage subdues as I take in the familiar messy, orange hair of the perpetrator. He's a few centimeters talker than I am, and his eyes are a deep fiery brown. He's certainly—

"Karasuno's fastie!" I gasp. The number '#10' is plastered on his shirt, signaling that my guess is correct.

"…Fastie? Eh- wait! You're the Seijo girl who cheered us on last time!" he also exclaims, pointing his finger at me in sheer amazement. My mouth hangs wide agape. Who knew I would meet him again (even if it's in such embarrassing context)?!

"Y-Yeah… What a coincidence," I mutter, laughing nervously while trying to ignore the sharp pain on my cheek. Is Karasuno here for a training camp?

"Um, are you okay? I'm really sorry for the ball!" he apologises once again. I shake my head, smiling politely.

"It's really okay-"

"Hey, Hinata! What's taking you so long?" a voice sounds behind him. I send a glance towards the owner of that voice, who's apparently the captain of Karasuno if I remember correctly. He jumps at the sight of me.

"Woah! Are you okay? Your cheek looks like it's gonna swell!"

I touch my cheek numbly, wincing upon my own touch.

_It's that serious?_

"We're really sorry! You should come in and ice it off. Our managers will be happy to help you," he proposes.

I shake my head again, not wanting to intrude on their training. Besides, the fear of being caught by the school authority is already sending me warning signs.

"No, it's really okay-"

"Captain! It's the nice girl who cheered us on," Hinata (apparently- thank goodness I need not refer to numbers this time) pipes in, interrupting me. The captain's eyes light up in realisation when he scans me over again.

"Really, it's you! Wow, what a coincidence!"

"Uh, yeah…"

_I wasn't supposed to be here._

"It wouldn't be nice of us if we let you leave like that, then! You definitely must come in," he states assertively with the tone of a captain. And so, I'm escorted into the gymnasium filled with sweating boys and bouncing balls.

_I swear this always happens to me! Why me out of all people?_

* * *

_The remaining sunlight scatters, reflecting the interior of the gymnasium. The other members of the Karasuno's volleyball team glance at me, some whose eyes light upon recognition. On the other end of the court, the Nekoma students are watching me with hawk-like eyes, a few delivering reproachful glares to a tall, grey-haired boy in the middle._

_Besides them, there are other teams in other courts playing with all their might, the vitality coursing through their veins is too captivating to behold._ _They are a few of the many people out there in the world working towards their goals, relentlessly giving all their efforts in blind faith that they can accomplish their dreams. If I follow their compass, it feels like I can go anywhere and everywhere._

_...As long as they exist, I believe I'll be able to find something that can make my heart beat again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope Higashi's rationale isn't too confusing for people to follow! Remember Higashi's POV is flawed and she tends to interpret things in a way she feels comfortable in. Therefore, the way she sees herself may not be the most accurate representation of who she is. Besides that, she's still a teenager trying to discover who she is and what she wants in life. Other characters will help her do that, and in the process, she'll help others find themselves too. That will be a lot of what this story will be about. At the end of the day, it's up to you, the readers, to interpret her character as you wish. Which is why I would really love to hear your feedback of her character if you have any. Is she too annoying? Too dramatic? Too anything? Let me know! Higashi's past and experiences will be revealed bit by bit as the story goes on. And yes, Minami and Kamei will play an important role, so you'll see more of them in later chapters. xP

**Author's Note:**

> I have way too many ideas for stories at the moment ;; This time, I decide to write a fic for my newest favourite anime, Haikyu!. The main character, Higashi Harue, is a Seijo student in her second year. This fic will focus on how she influences others and how others influence her back. It'll be a classic coming-of-age and friendship story, plus lots of the usual Haikyu! comedy. Hope you guys enjoyed the first chapter!


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